2023.12.31(pm): Thoughts on the last day of 2023

I think 2023 was a very difficult, meaningful, and memorable year for me.

It may sound enormous, but I think it can be divided into ‘before me’ and ‘after me’ based on 2023, and 2023 brought about a big internal change in me.

I suffered from insomnia for about 6 years from 2017 to August 2023. At the end of August of this year, I found out the cause of my insomnia, and I was able to face and solve the problem. I can’t explain the problem in detail here, but after solving the problem, I was surprisingly able to sleep well. Sleep has a huge impact on a person’s memory, concentration, and stress… I’ve been sleeping an average of 3 to 4 hours a day. It was only after I was able to sleep normally again that I realized how mentally exhausted I had been and how poor my concentration had been. When people do not sleep, they become sensitive and cannot think normally. I also live in a state where I can’t sleep all the time, so I get irritated easily and don’t perform well at any task.

2023 was a very difficult year for me, both professionally and mentally, so I thought it would be a wasteful year without much gain, and I thought the only answer in this situation was to hold on. It was difficult to be recognized for the work done at the company because the results were not good, and when money came in, it started to go beyond that. Human relationships are inherently narrow, so I wasn’t hurt by other people, but I suffered from my own thoughts. But after I solved my insomnia, things started to get better. August was the most depressed month, but when I thought about it later, the saying “It is darkest before sunrise” was true.

At the end of the year, I was promoted with the highest score in the company’s evaluation, the robot making volunteer group of which I was the leader received the award. And I made an automation program using Python for POSCO-Steeleon. So, I received a merit award from Production Manager Huh Chun-yeol.

There are many people I am grateful to who helped me get through this. First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to our team leader, Park Seong-chan, who looked favorably on me for not giving up and trying various solutions to solve problems even though I was not performing well at the company. I am also grateful to Dr. Si Seong-gyu, who played a big role in leading the robot volunteer group this year. Also, we would not have been able to come this far if all members had not participated together. Thank you also to the members. And I am grateful to Minhyuk who always supports me. I am also thankful to the Holy Spirit who helps me in invisible places.

Lastly, I would like to say that I am grateful and proud of myself for persevering even though it was difficult.

I am looking forward to doing more fun and diverse things next year, and as always, I support my passion.

Writing on December 31st, the last night of 2023